Dear Ryan, or should I say orange,

I come to you with a proposal. Ever since I was a little child I have loved action heroes. I went through many stages. First I loved Captain America, then Spiderman and finally batman. Batman is still my favorite hero to this day. I love his movies, games and books. I remember one day in class when you were doing batman impressions and they were amazing! Since then I have asked you to do your impersonations but the answer is always a big NO. I’m asking you to say it just one more time out of the kindness of your heart. After all I have devoted a whole blog to this cause so it’s safe to say it means a lot to me.

Enough of my nice side. Let me say this Mr. Schneider if I don’t hear your impression sometime soon there will be consequences. I haven’t yet figured out what those are yet, but I am not faltering, there will be consequences. I may make you lose your sanity by making you expect a prank that will never happen.

If I haven’t convinced you yet I have another proposal. I’m willing to make a deal. For every time you do the impression I am willing to pay you one million pretzels. That’s right, one million. It can be sourdough, honey, utz, roldgold, you name it! Or would you rather receive payment in the form of oranges. After all you were named Orange man. Would this be a more suitable payment!

Doing your impression would be doing the world a favor. Many of my trusted colleagues share the same feelings as me. We are willing to pay you generously for your impression. However Mr. Orange, if you are not willing let’s just say we will squeeze the citrus out of you. At the bottom you will notice that I have inserted a picture of your reward if you choose to except. I have also inserted a picture of what you will become if you refuse my request. (See next page)

Sincerely,

Brendan Walsh

 

Choice 1- (You could bathe in pretzels! Or sell them for a profit)

Choice 2- (Don’t worry your juicing will be humane.)